I am Thinking Aloud Here

“I’m thinking aloud here,” they begin.

And that’s your cue to brace. 

Because whatever follows will be completely predictable.

It will be a mental sneeze: unfiltered, wet with assumption, and sprayed generously across your afternoon.

Let’s decode this phrase.

“I’m thinking aloud” means “I haven’t bothered to organize my ideas, but I’m going to subject you to them anyway, because I enjoy the sound of my own neurons misfiring in real time.”

It is a verbal pre-excuse. 

A soft landing for stupidity.

Because when someone really thinks, you can feel it. 

There’s friction. 

Precision. 

Resolution.

Maybe even silence. 

But when someone says they’re thinking aloud, they’re often doing the opposite, they’re broadcasting raw internal chaos with the smugness of someone who just discovered oxygen.

It’s also a warning label.

“I’m thinking aloud” = “I reserve the right to deny everything I’m about to say.”It’s like a legal disclaimer for mental garbage.

And the worst part? The delivery. 

It always comes with a furrowed brow and a squint

Everytime someone says this in front of me, I go “Good  God, not again”