What Are You Gavoreeting About?

In my opinion, sharing a great book interest is grounds for deep and everlasting love. Forget matching zodiac signs, shared hobbies, or compatible life goals, give me someone who lights up at the mention of a beloved novel, and I’m halfway to writing our wedding vows.

One of my favorite phrases, which I deploy often and half-jokingly when someone’s rambling or making no sense, comes from A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess. 

I lean in and say,“What are you gavoreeting about?”

It’s a small, delicious reference, a little linguistic Easter egg tucked into the conversation. 

But here’s the thing: nobody ever gets it. Not once has anyone stopped, smiled, and said, “Ah, Burgess!” Not once has anyone’s eyes flickered with recognition, not even a glimmer of, “Hey, I know that one.”

And so, I wait.

I wait for the day someone, a woman, let’s be honest, looks at me, tilts her head just slightly, and says,“What are you gavoreeting about?”

If that ever happens, I’ll know I’ve found her.The one.My soulmate.My droogette.

Assuming, of course, she’s hot.

Let’s not get entirely literary.